If you and your partner have been together for a while, you may be wondering if you’re ready to take your relationship to the next level. This may mean that you’re considering moving in together. While sharing a home with the one you love can be a great joy, it also comes with certain risks so it’s not a decision that should be taken lightly. Moving in can cause a lot of pressure on a relationship, and if it doesn’t work out, it can manifest in some serious consequences. It’s important to give a relationship time to become stable before moving in together. So what does that mean exactly? In this article, we will go over some signs you may be ready to live together.
YOU’RE DOING IT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
Moving in together can be a wonderful time in a relationship, or it can be the catalyst to end it. This is why you need to make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons. If your only motivation is to save money, that isn’t sufficient to justify moving in together. If you only want to move in because you think it is what everyone else thinks you should do, then you shouldn’t move in together. You should live with your partner only when you are ready to make that level of commitment, not because you feel like it’s what you’re supposed to do for whatever reason.
YOU KNOW EACH OTHER’S HABITS
If you have ever lived with roommates (or even just your family), you know that there are little habits people have that will just get on your nerves when you live with them. Even things that may not seem significant, such as leaving the lights on or off, can cause major rifts over time. Make sure you are familiar with your partner’s living habits, and they are familiar with yours, before you take the leap.
YOU TALK ABOUT MONEY
Managing finances is one of the main sources of stress in relationships, yet many couples never talk about it openly and honestly. Before you take on the major financial responsibility of renting (or even buying) a place together, you should be able to talk to your partner about your finances. Make sure you are able to talk about money; otherwise, things could get messy fast when bills start coming.
YOU’RE SPENDING MOST NIGHTS TOGETHER
While this isn’t a good enough reason in its own, when you are in a healthy, committed relationship, you often inevitably reach a point in the relationship when it doesn’t make sense NOT to live together. If everything else is smooth sailing and it is starting to become inconvenient to have two places, it’s often a sign that moving in is a good idea.
YOU’RE REALISTIC ABOUT IT
It can be fun to fantasize with your partner about a future where you live with them, but make sure to temper your fantasy with reality. If you and your partner are only talking about the great things that will come out of your cohabitation and skirting around the real issues, it’s a sign you don’t have the communication skills necessary to move in yet. Both partners should have realistic expectations and be able to discuss the potential issues of living together before any leases are signed.
If you need some help working on your communication before or after living together, we would love to help. Contact New Transitions for couples therapy in Palatine.
